How about me?

      Many time I am thinking about my frustrations or about writing down what I am feeling in that moment. I did not do because, most of the times, my words will offend or will effect other people feelings. I hate people suffer because my decisions. Even I know very well, people around me cannot be pleased as much i try, I still trying this way.

      I am a complex person which is not enough to receive a information without to check it. Many times I criticize things around me(people, behaviors, trainings, activities and especially myself). This is a form of defending myself or to prevent another stressful situations. If I receive a news, the next step is to see who is involved, how many details I know who is involved, what can influence my self and straightaway find solutions.  Because of that I see another people involved, I am thinking how they are feeling and continue to find a better solution. This is not easy at all. 

     I don't know when I start feeling and thinking like that. What I know is I don't like situation win - lose situations. I can't say I hate losing because I learn how to lose. What I hate without limits is  when someone create an environment and somebody or a group of people are losing. Losing doesn't mean especially money or something material. The moment when somebody uses other people skills, good hearts and time, that's the moment when I can't keep my mouth shut. It is the moment when the anger came in my body and create me in something which I don't like myself. I was advised not to do that, to ignore that and to be a little bit selfish because this is normal in work environment and life.

     I can't do that because I like win-win situation. This win-win situation for me is when everybody is involved and treated fairly. Treat the same sometimes is not the best. We have all the same rights but if you treat the same a person which use the system to earn which other work a lot, that is not fair.
Here I am not speaking about people with learning disabilities, people with special needs or other issues. Here I am speaking about people who does that repetitive and are encouraged to do that because are actions taken.

     I love to work, to be active, I am even an workaholic because all the time I see something to be done around me. I can do something which is taking my free time but in the end I am very relaxed and pleased. I don't consider in that moment as work.
Watching TV, playing console, sleeping a lot and drinking most of the free time, for me is not a lifestyle which I consider healthy. I know here I will receive negative comments because is part of the majority culture and some business are survive in that way. I don't like consider healthy because for long term if anything change will not be options, will be suffer because each of us doing this will lose the reality.

     This crisis which we are living made people to suffer a lot. I am not speaking about the people who are affected by the virus, I am speaking about the people who doesn't know to replace some activities which they can't do now. Also I am not speaking about the people who work in these environment and is part of their job because they suffer by loosing their jobs without replacement.

    The recent frustrating for myself is that I worked too many hours over time. I know my salary will be bigger than normal but it is not about this. It is about sacrifice annual leave, time with family, relaxing time or opportunities to do new things because I needed to be at work. Is not just about me, it is about a team, it is about a system, which is complete wrong and encourage people to use it in their favor.
     To create an survey online which who ask to questions and if one of them is yes, you are advised to stay 14 days and after 7 days at home without nobody to check if that is true, this is a wrong system. This is why other will need to work a lot of hours because this is the job and will be burnout soon.
    
    Those people who are using this wrong system, when they will decide to come back at work, will not accept to work a little bit more and other people to go in annual leave just days off. They will do the minimum and when it is possible will do less than that and will find other excuses.

    With all my frustration and all my negative thoughts, I hope those people to recover and to remain optimistic if they were infected by this virus. More than that I wish them and to everyone which celebrate Easter  this weekend "Happy Easter!!!!".